Deflating Mayor Giuliani*

• The Fireworks Ban -- nice for our neighborhoods, very bad and insulting to the Chinese community, for whom fireworks have a religious significance (chasing away the demons on Chinese New Year).
• A Brief Enforcement of the 30-mile-an-hour Speed Limit on City streets -- this went on for about a month, and something like 19,000 fines were levied, but it all ground to a halt when the mayor's entourage of limos was clocked at 75 miles an hour by the ever observant New York Post.
• Crackdown on Bad Driving by Taxicab Drivers -- good, and about time; the penalties are a bit too stiff, though, especially for the poor drivers trying to eke out a living (the true solution is to abolish the Medallion system).
• Get Rid of the School Commissioner Whenever You Can -- these people are worthless bureaucrats, out to steal our tax money and kow-tow to the liberal teachers' unions and the pencil-pushers at Livingstone Street (board of ed HQ); good for Giuliani that he upset so many people by getting rid of Quinones, the Kondom King and Rainbow Warrior. On the other hand, the school system is falling apart, and the mayor doesn't seem to be doing anything about it.
• The Grammy Awards! -- one of the moguls dissed Mr. G's representative who was trying to arrange for him to have a prominent slot in the presentation; in a fit of peevishness he told them "we don't need your silly hype show -- why don't you go somewhere else?" Philadelphia and LA jumped right in and offered to be the venue next time. Do you think Philadelphia won? Not! But that's some tourist dollars and 'prestige' lost to the city for no reason except a bad temper.
• Subways Cleaned up and Running on Time (first term); Subways Filthy and Constantly Delayed (second term) -- what else is new? Isn't this how it has always been?
• The Fulton Fish Market Fiasco -- win some, lose some; the Mayor tried to clean up the mob-controlled Fulton Fish Market, right next to a major tourist attraction, the South Street Seaport complex, wanted to move the smelly depot out to the Bronx and eliminate the mob interest (where they laundered their dirty money by making it smell of fish). Well there was a major fire, with the sprinkler system mysteriously not working, and the Fish Market is still there, restored, and presumably the same people in control. Lesson: don't mess with fishermen (they always knew this in New England).
• Tennis vs. Baseball -- Dinkins scammed us (because he is a tennis player/fan) by catering to the people who own the Forest Hills stuff in Flushing Meadows; Giuliani is attempting the same for baseball and his totally corrupt and greedy buddy George Steinbrenner, owner of the Yankees, who threatens to move the team to New Jersey if he can't get the taxpayers to build him a new stadium near Penn Station. Both are acts of lousy favoritism in politics, but so far only Dinkins succeeded, as I'm sure he brags about with his cronies.
• Jules vs Muhammed -- The Million Youth March in Harlem under the aegis of Mr Khalid Muhammed. Like kids in a playground going 'na-na-na-na-na', these two egoists decided to fight it out. Is Khalid a racist rabblerouser? Yes. Is Giuliani intolerant? Yes. We know that. But why all the big fuss before the event, with G trying to stop it from happening at all costs (in his arrogance, he offered them Randall's Island instead of Harlem)? The courts said the rally could go as planned, but limited to a few blocks and until 4 o'clock. The event only attracts a few thousand attendees, plus a huge media presence, so why does the mayor send in a huge storm-trooper force at 4:06 to break it up, giving the anti-honky guy the chance to launch a kill-the-cops diatribe, then flee the scene in his Rolls? What parade or whatever has ever ended at the scheduled time? Bad show from both parties. G's spin doctors detected that the public didn't think this was very cool, so he jumped at the opportunity when a redneck enclave in the city out in Jamaica Bay had a parade with their traditional joke float at the end ('Hassidic Park', 'Black to the Future', etc.) with a bunch of beer-swizzling white jerks in blackface. Bad taste, but so what? G. promptly fired the ones who were off-duty cops or fireman and spouted off about black dignity (what about the Muhammed march, then?) and maintaining racial harmony. Well, for one thing, he isn't their boss, so he can't fire them; also they were not on duty. This one is going to the courts and arbitration boards. It is totally pointless and stupid, but now the mayoral ego is on the line.
• Overreactions -- (a) Asking passersby to call people who drop their cigarette butts on the street 'slobs' to their faces; that's guaranteed trouble (G. should know better). (b) Calling out an APB on the guy who parachuted off the Chrysler Building -- dangerous move? yes; criminal? no (technically trespass and blocking traffic).
• More Quality of Life crackdowns -- now they are arresting people and throwing them in jail overnight for not showing up in court over summonses for walking dogs without a leash or up-to-date dog license. This is stupid, although technically one could say that you should appear in court no matter how trivial the offense.
• Trigger-happy cops -- well, it happens, and is not really indicative of police brutality or oppression; however, the knee-jerk defense from the mayor and police commissioner whenever somebody gets blown away by 50 bullets, without even a preliminary inquiry, is insensitive and counterproductive.

• Blaming ex-Mayor Dinkins for the Crown Heights Riots -- a low blow, no matter how Dinkins dithered over the situation; this was politics at its sleaziest, with race (black) being played against race (Jewish), to nobody's gain.
• Crackdown on Food Vendors in Midtown -- nasty move that pretty much failed; Rudy was being led by the nose by the owners of delis and restaurants, who charge the earth for crappy food, and wanted to take away the cheap stuff provided by the hot-dog wagons, etc. to regular wage-earners like us.
• Steinbrenner -- 'nuff said; Giuliani is in this extortionist's pocket over the Yankee Statium business and any sell-out to George has GOT TO BE STOPPED! If he wants a new stadium, let him pay for it himself. (See above.)
• Closing down the Strip Clubs -- a violation of the civil rights of these people who make their living (legal) by stripping, pushing porn, and generally providing the sleaze for which no city can be called a true city without having it in some measure; exiling it to warehouse districts is the wrong approach -- what should be done is more along the lines of European cities like Amsterdam or Hamburg, where the sleaze is actually concentrated into special areas and encouraged as a tourist attraction. Times Square used to be fine for this until Disney bought it for its own nefarious purposes (World Conquest and to relieve us of huge amounts of money for glitz with no merit).
  However, G. was infuriated by the recent court decision that allowed a strip club to stay open because it had an admissions policy for minors (the law specifially applies only to 'adults-only' establishments). Love it!
• Denying Tina Brown her party at the Brooklyn Navy Yard -- petty reaction when rumor had it that her new magazine (which this was a launching party for) would have Hillary Clinton on the cover. This was particularly dumb, because her group is financing a major rejuvenation/multi-use revitalization of that defunct utility. So they had the party on the New Jersey portion of Ellis Island instead. Grow up, Mayor!

• Cuban Cigars -- the Feds have been conducting an entrapment caper against rich people; the popular cigar bars in New York have been selling Havana Cigars under the table for $500 or so a box; the suppliers buy them legally in Spain or some place, sneak them into the country, and then resell them for a huge mark-up. Shady? yes. Snob-appeal? yes. Illegal? well, maybe. It IS against the law to buy Cuban cigars in this country (Trading with the Enemy Act), but that is an absolutely stupid law and with the lawyers the perpetrators can afford there is no way they will ever go to prison for 10 years as specified in that law.
  This is a total waste of law-enforcement manpower (guess they gave up on trying to go after Colombian coke/heroin dealers and needed a 'success' story). Hope they fall flat on their asses on this one. [I would smoke Havanas, probably the only good thing Cuba has to offer these days, given the chance -- but wouldn't pay that much money for them.] One hears that Clinton likes a good cigar, Hillary's anti-smoking bias notwithstanding -- makes one wonder what else he did up in the Hamptons recently: Ken Starr, take note! If Bill ever smoked a Cuban cigar, that is an impeachable offense. (Sept. 1998 -- well we now know that Clinton does other interesting things with cigars.)

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* E-mail to Fishe:

"On the other hand, I agree that all welfare recipients should be given wooden sticks with a nail on the end and assigned to picking up garbage. Also, teen-age girls who give birth out of wedlock should be publicly whipped (naked of course) in Steinbrenner's new stadium before the start of every baseball game. Assault on a police horse will be a death-penalty offense, with public hanging in Battery Park. And three-card-monte men will have their hands cut off if they ply their trade within 500 feet of City Hall. If our illustrious mayor adopts these policies, I may even forgive him."

Grobius 7/26/98