Silly People...
- Sinead O'Connor has announced that she is a Lesbian. (This after she
was ordained as a Catholic priest -- remember when she tore up a picture of the Pope on 'Saturday Night Live'?) She is constantly amusing.
- Sting (the rock star) has challenged Garry Kasparov to a chess match to be broadcast over the Internet. Looks like the grand master is trying to make up for his loss to IBM's Big Blue computer.
New Currency...
- US Quarters -- nice new coins, for the most part, with a different emblem ('tails') for each State
- US Paper Money -- those new greenbacks are really crude and ugly, the portraits are distorted and the layout is amateurly designed; other countries print better bills and use different colors too for some variety
Silly Law Suits...
- Fanny enhancement -- a stripper is suing a plastic surgeon for implanting breast inserts in her buttocks to enhance her stature; made it impossible to sit down and looked ridiculous (doctor claims she didn't leave them in long enough for them to flatten out and adjust properly -- tell that to the jury!)
- Doctor Zorro -- gynecologist who carved his initials on a pregnant woman's midriff has been struck off the register and sentenced to five years' probation (needless to say, he is also going to pay out big bucks)
Chutzpa...
- F. Lee Bailey -- famous lawyer being sued by the Feds for taking a multi-million dollar fee out of confiscated mob money and stashing it in the Bahamas (on another note, he says OJ Simpson, an ex-client, failed a lie-detector test)
- OJ Simpson -- still in the news! claims his new girlfriend beat him up; also, in response to F. Lee, has vowed to take a lie-detector test for a million bucks and donate the money to a fund to track down the alleged killers of his wife and the waiter
Food I cannot stand...
- Parsnips -- they stink and taste horrible
- Macaroni and Cheese -- the most revolting school meal ever
- Head Cheese -- some sort of cold cut, body parts in aspic jelly
- Soy Sausage Links -- artificial meat-flavored gunk
- Processed Cheese Spreads -- salty, slimy, and generally nasty
- Okra ..... [etc. etc. etc.]
Food that sounds revolting but isn't
- Turnips -- they stink and taste great
- Meat Loaf -- especially good in diners, with gravy and mashed potatoes
- Brain Curry -- hard to get now because of mad cow disease
- Scrapple -- sausage patty made up of animal lungs and other nasty stuff
(also good: blood pudding and haggis, though the latter really pongs)
- Limburger Cheese -- smells like dirty socks, but tastes fine
- Cabbage ..... [etc. etc. etc.]
This is just random stuff -- can't think where else to put these items
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