Celebrity Skiing

But what IS risible is the aftermath:

• Kathy Lee Gifford defending her son-in-law Michael Kennedy (figure that one out -- they were about the same age) against the accusations of statutory rape of his children's babysitter. "The press persecuted him. The girl was really 16 [legal age] by the time he slept with her, so the charges were unfair -- he actually passed two lie-detector tests saying he didn't have sex with her when she was a minor." Yeah, cool, even if she was the babysitter of his children. I guess she doesn't sympathize that much with her stepdaughter who was married to Michael Kennedy at the time, and whose divorce papers, ironically, had already been finalized except for the division of the booty, which became moot when he died, so she gets everything anyway. I am really fed up with the rutting habits of the Kennedy men, starting with old Joe the Bootlegger. They made Rose a saint, I guess because she put up with it and went to Mass every day and lived to be 100.
• The Curse of the Kennedys. Come on, Tabloids, this is an extended family with a couple of hundred people in it -- bad things are bound to happen every now and then within such a large group of people, no matter who they are. The only odd thing was the assassination of the two brothers within a short time span. All the rest is the same old crap we all have to suffer now and then. There IS NO CURSE on the Kennedy family, except that put upon them by their old enemies, the people old Joe did wrong by.
• Hot dog skiers. As an incompetent on the slopes, I am always pleased when those arrogant shits who hog the course and ski without poles and toss footballs on the way down come to some sort of grief. Usually, and more fairly, it results in broken legs -- I'd never wish death on one of those assholes.
• SONNY BONO, now Saint Sonny. Another hot-dogger. Ski slopes are a hundred yards wide, with trees on the side: why would anybody head into the trees except to venture some stupid stunt? He played the jerk on the Sonny and Cher show, faked as it was or not, but came to a knuckleheaded end.
• Cher, Gingrich, and that bunch. Jeeze, according to the Pols, Sonny would have ended up as House Majority Leader. You gotta be kidding. (Although Ronald Reagan pulled off a similar stunt). Then Cher in her eulogy said they became the most popular couple -- you got me babe-- of all time. Weeping her crocodile tears. She will collect all the royalties of the Sonny-and-Cher marathons that will be on in the next few weeks. (Hey, dust those things off from the archives, they haven't been syndicated in years.)
• We, the people, who have been led to believe, for the most part, that these events were TRAGEDIES as opposed to accidents. Don't we know what tragedy really means any more? A tragedy is when all kinds of shit falls on your head, your only fault being to think 'nothing bad will ever happen to me'. --Well, maybe in that sense, what happened to that Kennedy was tragic, it certainly wasn't to Teddy or that Smith guy.
• They say events like these occur in threes. One could possibly include Chris Farley even though he didn't die on the slopes: What do Michael Kennedy, Sonny Bono, and Chris Farley have in common? They all died on snow! (har, har)