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(Advice my father never gave me, nor Polonius)
- When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is
before thee;
- And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.
[Don't trust what your boss offers you]
- Be not desirous of his dainties; for they are deceitful meat.
[He might be queer, so watch out]
- Labour not to be rich; cease from thine own wisdom.
[Don't be a yuppie]
- Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly
make themselves wings; they fly away, as an eagle toward heaven.
[Easy come, easy go]
- Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire
thou his dainty meats:
- For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to
thee; but his heart is not with thee.
[Stay away from crooks]
- The morsel which thou hast eaten, shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy
sweet words.
[Not sure what this means, though I know what vomit is]
- Speak not in the ears of a fool; for he will despise the wisdom of thy
words.
[Tell it to the judge]
- Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the
fatherless:
- For their redeemer is mighty; he shall plead their cause with thee.
[Thou shalt not trespass--the bastards were into this in those days]
- Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of
knowledge.
[Good advice, if hackneyed; actually means "Obey Orders"]
- Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the
rod, he shall not die.
[Or thou shalt go to jail]
- Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
[This hurts me more than it hurts you]
- My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
- Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.
[Yes, it really says reins. Does this mean "heartstrings" or something like that?]
- Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD
all the day long.
- For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.
[They'll get theirs, you hope]
- Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way.
[This is the bit we all IGNORE]
- Be not among winebibbers
[sots?];
among riotous eaters of flesh:
[I'd like to be a vegetarian, but I can't give up red meat]
- For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty; and drowsiness
shall clothe a man with rags.
[Say what? Something like drinking and eating all night then sleeping all day will get you nowhere. OK if you're rich, OK if you're not, but don't care]
- Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother
when she is old.
[Even though they come across as windbags]
- Buy the truth and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.
[etc. etc. etc.? Get Smart! -- and don't get caught]
- The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice, and he that begetteth
a wise child shall have joy of him.
[What about daughters?]
- Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.
[Especially if you make enough money to support them in their old age]
- My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes behold my ways.
[Yes, you old hypocrite]
- For a WHORE is a DEEP DITCH; and a strange woman is a NARROW PIT.
[I like this line, it has a nice ring to it, catchy phrasing. King James's bishops
sure had a handle on condemming wicked, or any, women]
- She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among
men.
[Who? The Whore or the Strange Woman?]
Here's the stuff this page was leading up to:
- Who hath woe? Who hath sorrow?
Who hath contentions? Who hath babbling? Who hath WOUNDS WITHOUT
CAUSE?*
Who hath redness of eyes?
- They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine.
[* Which are, by the way, those mysterious cuts and bruises you end up with when you can't remember what you did last night.]
- Look thou not upon the wine when it is RED, when it giveth its colour
in the cup, when it moveth itself aright
[?].
[Stick with Scotch, Vodka, or other whitish stuff]
- At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.
[Groan!]
- Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter
perverse things.
[Please, don't ever leave me, Lucille]
- Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he
that lieth upon the top of a mast.
[Know that feeling. Obviously translated by an Englishman, for what did the
ancient Israelites know about being up in the shrouds? The Hebrew is probably
about camels]
- They have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have
beaten me, and I felt it not: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again.
[Hair of the Dog tomorrow]
Proverbs Chapter 23
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